9 Signs You Know You Can Trust Someone With Your Heart

It really amazes me what falling in love can do. It turns closed up, self-centered, arrogant, private individuals into people willing to open themselves up, expose themselves and voluntarily make themselves vulnerable. Love really does seem like a mental disorder. Love makes us want to give ourselves over to another.

We let down our guards and allow those we love to see the real us – naked and vulnerable. This is where the fun part comes: giving yourself up too soon will likely ruin what you have. The very same can be said for giving into love too late.

There’s a narrow window of time that relies heavily on those involved. Sometimes things align just right and they work out wonderfully. The real task is knowing that window when you see it.

1. You’ve known this person for at least a year (two if you want be safe).

You may not be able to help falling for someone, but you can help letting him or her know too early. Once you say those three words, your relationship goes to the next level; it will never be able to level back down again. Once you love someone, you’re supposed to love that person forever (or so we’re led to believe).

Before giving someone your heart and taking the relationship to the next level, make sure that you know who you’re getting into bed with. No pun intended.

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2. As far as you know, this person has never lied to you.

And if he or she has, you at least never found out. I understand that most people are entirely against lying, but the truth is that no one wants to be told the truth all the time. Reality is harsh and having it softened by those who love us can be a wonderful thing. There are some lies, however, that shouldn’t be told.

Certain types of lies are formed out of malice and deception. If you know you’ve been lied to before and were hurt by the knowledge itself then you may want to rethink moving forward. It’s not the lie that hurts, but the truth that it’s covering. You don’t want to be with someone who hurt you in the past while lying to you about it.

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3. This person doesn’t need to be chased after – you simply manage to find each other.

Before you hand your heart over, be sure that the person you’re handing it over to actually cares about you. It’s not difficult to tell. If he or she is there when you need and isn’t always the one who is in need, then it’s a good bet that this person really enjoys spending time with you. If he or she enjoys your company that much then he or she most definitely cares about you. Beware those who seem to be regularly unavailable.

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4. This person told you that he or she isn’t “going anywhere” and you believe it.

Before people say “I love you” they tend to ease in with an “I’m not going anywhere” remark, or its equivalent, strategically fitted as a witty and romantic response. If this person doesn’t plan on running off and is falling for you, he or she is likely to start by making you feel safe.

This person wants you to trust in him or her because this person wants to be able to one day, in the near future, exchange those words. If this person has already told you that he or she loves you, hearing “I’m not going anywhere” from time to time is still a nice reminder that you made the right decision.

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5. This person has always treated you well and has respected you.

If he or she has been treating you poorly then don’t expect that to ever change. If this person doesn’t respect you then he or she isn’t the type of person you should be with and definitely isn’t the one you should be giving you heart to. Your partner should be your partner, not your owner.

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6. This person is always there for you when you need him or her.

This one is a big one. A lot of people are quick to talk big, but are nowhere to be found when it comes time to actually follow through. The person you should love is the person who will never abandon you, never leave you alone and stranded, never give up on you or let you go. If he or she isn’t that person then forget about him or her and keep searching.

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7. This person is willing to inconvenience him or herself to make you happy.

Being inconvenienced is nothing more than being uncomfortable. If this person isn’t willing to be uncomfortable for you then he or she won’t be willing to do a whole lot for you throughout your relationship. People have very neat comfort zones – leaving them is often pretty easy, but uncomfortable. This person should be willing to sacrifice his or her comfort for yours.

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8. This person is trustworthy.

If you can’t trust him or her with your secrets then he or she isn’t a very good partner. You need to trust the person you have feelings for before you allow yourself to accept that you love him or her. You have to be able to trust this person – trust him or her as a friend, lover and as a partner. If you can rely on and count on him or her to catch you when you fall, then and only then, should you be willing to make yourself that vulnerable.

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9. You’re ready for this.

This is one that is most often overlooked. It’s not enough that your partner is right and ready to take the relationship to the next level. We ourselves have to be ready for it.

We often are too busy thinking and worrying about those we are falling for to consider if we are prepared to play the part ourselves. Are you ready to follow through on points one through eight? If you’re not then it doesn’t matter if your partner is, does it?

Stop Comparing Yourself. You are the only Original Piece in the Entire World

Being single is not easy. It’s not difficult, either.

We live in a world where people put their lives on display. Pictures of engagements, babies and marriages are plastered all over the Internet for everyone to see.

With that happening, it’s easy to compare yourself to others, thinking that because you’re single, you have achieved less in life, are missing out or are totally alone.

The way I see it, you have two choices.

You can be in a rut, a funk or a cloud that prevents you from socially exploring the city in which you live, branching out, making new friends and ultimately, confining you to your couch on a Friday night, hanging out with your new best friends, Cabernet and Netflix. That’s totally cool. I love me a goblet of wine and television binge from time to time.

However, you could instead be the person who looks at the positives and realizes this particular time in our lives is open for interpretation. People at your office might be younger and have higher positions than you in your company and the same goes for relationships, but we all find happiness at different ages and stages.

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You should stop comparing yourself to other people right now.

Our generation has been brought up to broadcast our triumphs and mishaps. You might be the only single person in your group of friends. When you see people in serious relationships, married or having kids, it might be instinctual to feel like you are behind the curve of life. Yet, that is simply not the case.

As a culture, we need to disassociate the term “single” from its negative connotations; it is not a disease, a curse or a deplorable state of being that we are forced to constantly fight because we think a human counterpart is the only way to reach complete happiness.

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Stop praising other peoples’ accomplishments if they lead you to minimize your own.

Your friends may be engaged, married or popping out kids faster than the pimples on a teenager’s face, but you moved out of your childhood home, got your first job and cooked a meal that didn’t kill anyone.

Everyone has small and large victories, and those victories don’t necessarily come in that order. Ultimately, people are wired differently and getting married isn’t the greatest thing you will ever achieve as a human being. If we all did the same things at the same pace, life would be boring, mundane and predictable.

The greatest truth to life is that we cannot see the future; we don’t know where we’ll end up no matter how hard we try. Stop trying to orchestrate something over which you have no control.

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Stop convincing yourself that you’re missing out and realize what you can achieve. You don’t have answer to anyone but yourself.

Being single is an advantage and an opportunity. Spare your face the wrinkles and stop worrying about not having a significant other. When you’re single, you can do whatever the hell you want!

Sure, that weird girl from your high school, who used to eat banana peels in science class, got engaged in a hot air balloon and posted some cool pictures. That’s awesome. But, with all the extra time you won’t be devoting to the stress that is wedding planning, you can focus on your work and go for that promotion you’ve been wanting.

Take some of the extra cash you’ve saved up and go on a mission trip to help other people. Find a hobby you love and a passion that keeps you sane during the workday. Figure out what you can do for you to make your life worth living.

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Stop thinking it has to do with your appearance, your personality or your availability.

It really shouldn’t surprise you that the guy from that dating app didn’t call you back after you met up at a bar and had a magical night together. Those apps are purely based on physical attraction and are flooded with overly hormonal people who will say and do whatever they can to hook up with you.

If you want to find a boyfriend or girlfriend, there are websites out there that are reputable and include people who really are looking for love.

Don’t blame Tinder for your non-existent relationship. Don’t blame the fact that you have a busy work schedule or that you don’t think people find you attractive. Just stop searching. Ironically, we often come to find exactly what we’re looking for when we’re not looking at all.

Make yourself available, presentable and personable and the stars will start to align for you. Even when they don’t, move on; stop dwelling. Like I said, you’re too young to have stress wrinkles.

Life is what you make it. So, rather than being sad because you don’t have a special someone, go out and do something for yourself, something that makes you happy to lead the life you’re living.

Try to Figure out Love

You cannot measure love; and love does not diminish when you share it, says OSHO

“When the whole is taken from the whole, behold, the remainder is whole” — Ishavasya

From the point of view of ordinary arithmetic this is absolutely incorrect. If we remove some part of a thing, the remainder cannot be the same as it was originally. Something less will remain. If I take ten rupees from a safe containing millions of rupees, the total will be something less. It will be less even if ten paise are taken out.

The remainder cannot be equal to the amount as it originally was. Similarly, however great the fortune may be, ten paise added will make it greater. But according to this sutra, the whole may be taken from the whole, not just ten paise but the entire fortune, and still the remainder is whole.

This seems like the babbling of a madman whose knowledge of arithmetic is nil. Even a beginner knows that a thing will be less if something is taken from it, no matter how little is taken; and if the whole is taken, there will be nothing left at all. But this sutra declares that not just something, but the whole, remains. Those who know only the logic of the money-box will certainly not understand this phenomenon. Understanding appears from an altogether new direction.

Give To Have More
Does your love decrease when you give it to someone? Do you experience any shortage of love when you give it totally? No! ‘Love’ is the word we need to come to an understanding of this sutra; this is the word we shall have to use. However much you may part with your love, what you are left with remains as much as it was originally.

The act of giving it away produces no shortage. On the contrary, it grows, increasing as you give it away, entering you deeper and deeper as you distribute it more and more. As you give it freely away, the wealth of love within you begins to grow. One who gives his total love, freely and unconditionally, becomes the possessor of infinite love.

Simple arithmetic can never comprehend that when the whole is taken from the whole, the remainder is whole. Only love can find the meaning in this statement. Perhaps, through Meera and Chaitanya you can find your way to understanding, for this is a subject relating to some other, unknown dimension, in which nothing decreases when given away. The only experience you have that can enable you to understand this in a sudden flash of insight is love.

If, having given your love, you experience a sense of loss, then know that you have no experience of love at all. When you give your love to someone, and feel within you that something has disappeared, then know that what you gave must have been something else. It cannot be love. It must be something belonging to the world of dollars and pounds.

It must be a measurable thing which can be valued in figures, weighed in a balance and estimated in metres. Remember, whatever is measurable is subject to the law of diminution. Only that which is immeasurable and unfathomable will remain the same no matter how much is taken from it.

Drop Your Delusion
If someone loves me, I want that she love no one else, because my reasoning says that love divided is love diminished. So I seek to become sole owner and possessor of her love. My demand is that the person loving me give not even a loving glance to anyone else; such a glance is poison because “I know” that now her love for me will begin to diminish.

If I cling to this notion of love diminishing, I need to accept that I have no idea what love is. If I had any appreciation of true love, I would want my beloved to go out and give it freely to the whole world, because through so giving it she would come to understand its secrets and mysteries, and as she falls deeper and deeper into love, her love towards me, too, would overflow. Love is immeasurable. Drop your delusion that true love diminishes when it is shared.

Our Mind is the Root of all the Problems

The root problem of all problems is mind itself. The first thing to be understood is what this mind is, of what stuff it is made; whether it is an entity or just a process; whether it is substantial, or just dreamlike. And unless you know the nature of the mind, you will not be able to solve any problems of your life.

The root problem of all problems is mind itself. The first thing to be understood is what this mind is, of what stuff it is made; whether it is an entity or just a process; whether it is substantial, or just dreamlike. And unless you know the nature of the mind, you will not be able to solve any problems of your life.

You may try hard, but if you try to solve single, individual problems, you are bound to be a failure -- that is absolutely certain -- because in fact no individual problem exists: mind is the problem. If you solve this problem or that, it won't help because the root remains untouched.

It is just like cutting branches of a tree, pruning the leaves, and not uprooting it. New leaves will come, new branches will sprout -- even more than before; pruning helps a tree to become thicker. Unless you know how to uproot it, your fight is baseless, it is foolish. You will destroy yourself, not the tree.

In fighting you will waste your energy, time, life, and the tree will go on becoming more and more strong, far thicker and dense. And you will be surprised what is happening: you are doing so much hard work, trying to solve this problem and that, and they go on growing, increasing. Even if one problem is solved, suddenly ten problems take its place.

Don't try to solve individual, single problems -- there are none: mind itself is the problem. But mind is hidden underground; that's why I call it the root, it is not apparent. Whenever you come across a problem the problem is above ground, you can see it -- that's why you are deceived by it.

Always remember, the visible is never the root; the root always remains invisible, the root is always hidden. Never fight with the visible; otherwise you will fight with shadows. You may waste yourself, but there cannot be any transformation in your life, the same problems will crop up again and again and again. You can observe your own life and you will see what I mean. I am not talking about any theory about the mind, just the "facticity" of it. This is the fact: mind has to be solved.

People come to me and they ask: "How to attain a peaceful mind?" I say to them: "There exists nothing like that: a peaceful mind. Never heard of it."

Mind is never peaceful -- no-mind is peace. Mind itself can never be peaceful, silent. The very nature of the mind is to be tense, to be in confusion. Mind can never be clear; it cannot have clarity, because mind is by nature confusion, cloudiness. Clarity is possible without mind, peace is possible without mind, silence is possible without mind -- so never try to attain a silent mind. If you do, from the very beginning you are moving in an impossible dimension.

All the religions have been teaching you to fight against nature

Religions say that you have to manage to do something unnatural

All the religions have been teaching you to fight against nature. Whatsoever is natural, is condemned. Religions say that you have to manage to do something unnatural, only then can you get out of the imprisonment of biology, physiology, psychology, and all the walls that surround you. But if you go on in harmony with your body, with your mind, with your heart, then the religions say you will never be able to go beyond you. That’s where I oppose all the religions. They have put a poisonous seed in your being, so you live in your body, but you don’t love your body.

The body serves you for 70, 80, 90, even 100 years, and there is no other mechanism that science has been able to invent which can be compared to the body. Its complexities, its miracles that it goes on doing for you. and you don’t even say thank you. You treat your body as your enemy, although your body is your friend. 

Perhaps every cell of your body has a small brain in it.

It takes care of you in every possible way, while you are awake, while you are asleep. Even in sleep it goes on taking care of you. When you are asleep and a spider starts moving on your leg, your leg throws it away without bothering you. The leg has a small brain of its own. So for small matters there is no need to go to the central system, to go to the brain—that much the leg can do. A mosquito is biting you, your hands move it or kill it, and your sleep is not disturbed. The hand is not supposed to have a brain, but certainly it has something which can only be called a very small brain. Even while you are asleep your body is continuously protecting you, and doing things which it is not generally supposed to. Perhaps every cell of your body has a small brain in it. And there are millions of cells in your body, millions of small brains, moving around, continuously taking care of you. 

The body has certain wisdom of its own.
 

You go on eating all kinds of things without bothering what happens when you swallow them. You don’t ask the body whether its mechanism, its chemistry, will be able to digest what you are eating. But somehow your inner chemistry goes on working for almost a century. It has an automatic system of replacing parts which have gone wrong. It goes on throwing them out, creating new parts; and you have to do nothing about it, goes on happening on its own. The body has certain wisdom of its own.

And the religions say that the body is your enemy, you have to starve it, you have to hit it hard, because unless you starve it, torture it, how are you going to be free of it? They say the only way to be free of it is to cut all attachments to it. They teach you hatred for your body, and this is something so dangerous. The very idea turns your greatest friend into your greatest enemy. 

Body simply serves you without any payment from your side, no salary, no facilities, and religions says go against it

These religions go on saying to you, “You have to be always fighting, you have to move against the current. Don’t listen to the body—whatever it says, do just the opposite. The body is hungry, let it be hungry. You starve it, it needs that treatment.” It simply serves you without any payment from your side, no salary, no facilities, and religions says go against it. When it wants to fall asleep, try to remain awake.

It is not your foe, it is your friend. It is a gift of nature to you. It is part of nature. It is joined with nature in every possible way. You are bridged not only with breathing; with sun rays you are bridged, with the fragrance of flowers you are bridged, with the moonlight you are bridged. You are bridged from everywhere; you are not a separate island. Drop that idea. You are part of this whole continent, and yet… it has given you an individuality. This is what I call a miracle. You are part and parcel of existence, yet you have an individuality. Existence has done a miracle, has made possible something impossible.