9 Signs You Know You Can Trust Someone With Your Heart

It really amazes me what falling in love can do. It turns closed up, self-centered, arrogant, private individuals into people willing to open themselves up, expose themselves and voluntarily make themselves vulnerable. Love really does seem like a mental disorder. Love makes us want to give ourselves over to another.

We let down our guards and allow those we love to see the real us – naked and vulnerable. This is where the fun part comes: giving yourself up too soon will likely ruin what you have. The very same can be said for giving into love too late.

There’s a narrow window of time that relies heavily on those involved. Sometimes things align just right and they work out wonderfully. The real task is knowing that window when you see it.

1. You’ve known this person for at least a year (two if you want be safe).

You may not be able to help falling for someone, but you can help letting him or her know too early. Once you say those three words, your relationship goes to the next level; it will never be able to level back down again. Once you love someone, you’re supposed to love that person forever (or so we’re led to believe).

Before giving someone your heart and taking the relationship to the next level, make sure that you know who you’re getting into bed with. No pun intended.

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2. As far as you know, this person has never lied to you.

And if he or she has, you at least never found out. I understand that most people are entirely against lying, but the truth is that no one wants to be told the truth all the time. Reality is harsh and having it softened by those who love us can be a wonderful thing. There are some lies, however, that shouldn’t be told.

Certain types of lies are formed out of malice and deception. If you know you’ve been lied to before and were hurt by the knowledge itself then you may want to rethink moving forward. It’s not the lie that hurts, but the truth that it’s covering. You don’t want to be with someone who hurt you in the past while lying to you about it.

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3. This person doesn’t need to be chased after – you simply manage to find each other.

Before you hand your heart over, be sure that the person you’re handing it over to actually cares about you. It’s not difficult to tell. If he or she is there when you need and isn’t always the one who is in need, then it’s a good bet that this person really enjoys spending time with you. If he or she enjoys your company that much then he or she most definitely cares about you. Beware those who seem to be regularly unavailable.

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4. This person told you that he or she isn’t “going anywhere” and you believe it.

Before people say “I love you” they tend to ease in with an “I’m not going anywhere” remark, or its equivalent, strategically fitted as a witty and romantic response. If this person doesn’t plan on running off and is falling for you, he or she is likely to start by making you feel safe.

This person wants you to trust in him or her because this person wants to be able to one day, in the near future, exchange those words. If this person has already told you that he or she loves you, hearing “I’m not going anywhere” from time to time is still a nice reminder that you made the right decision.

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5. This person has always treated you well and has respected you.

If he or she has been treating you poorly then don’t expect that to ever change. If this person doesn’t respect you then he or she isn’t the type of person you should be with and definitely isn’t the one you should be giving you heart to. Your partner should be your partner, not your owner.

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6. This person is always there for you when you need him or her.

This one is a big one. A lot of people are quick to talk big, but are nowhere to be found when it comes time to actually follow through. The person you should love is the person who will never abandon you, never leave you alone and stranded, never give up on you or let you go. If he or she isn’t that person then forget about him or her and keep searching.

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7. This person is willing to inconvenience him or herself to make you happy.

Being inconvenienced is nothing more than being uncomfortable. If this person isn’t willing to be uncomfortable for you then he or she won’t be willing to do a whole lot for you throughout your relationship. People have very neat comfort zones – leaving them is often pretty easy, but uncomfortable. This person should be willing to sacrifice his or her comfort for yours.

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8. This person is trustworthy.

If you can’t trust him or her with your secrets then he or she isn’t a very good partner. You need to trust the person you have feelings for before you allow yourself to accept that you love him or her. You have to be able to trust this person – trust him or her as a friend, lover and as a partner. If you can rely on and count on him or her to catch you when you fall, then and only then, should you be willing to make yourself that vulnerable.

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9. You’re ready for this.

This is one that is most often overlooked. It’s not enough that your partner is right and ready to take the relationship to the next level. We ourselves have to be ready for it.

We often are too busy thinking and worrying about those we are falling for to consider if we are prepared to play the part ourselves. Are you ready to follow through on points one through eight? If you’re not then it doesn’t matter if your partner is, does it?

Is it OKAY to fall in love with the same Gender?

Sex has been called the original sin. It is neither original nor sin.

Sex is such a fundamental activity in nature that the ego of man started trying to get rid of it. The first thing I would like you to remember: sex is natural. There is no need to make any effort to get rid of it…although I know a moment comes when you transcend it that is something totally different. It is not by your effort that you can get rid of it; if you try to get rid of it you will fall a victim of perversions. Because for centuries man has been trying to get rid of sex, he has created many kinds of perversions. Homosexuality has arisen because we have deprived people of heterosexuality.

Homosexuality is quite normal in Humans

Homosexuality was born as a religious phenomenon in the monasteries because we forced monks to live together in one place and nuns to live in one place, and we separated them by great walls. Homosexuality is bound to happen. It happens only in monasteries and in the army, because these are the two places where we don’t allow men and women to mix. Or it happens in boys’ and girls’ hostels; there also we don’t allow them to mix. The whole phenomenon of homosexuality is a by-product of this whole stupid upbringing. Homosexuality will disappear from the world the day we allow men and women to meet naturally.

From their very childhood we start separating them. If a boy is playing with girls we condemn him. We say, “What are you doing? Are you a sissy? You are a boy, you are a man! Be a man, don’t play with girls!” If a boy is playing with dolls we immediately condemn him: “This is for girls.” If a girl is trying to climb a tree we stop her immediately: “This is not right; this is against feminine grace.” If a girl tries and persists and is rebellious she is called a tomboy; she is not respected.

It is perfectly OKAY to be Homosexual

Sex should be taken very naturally — we have been taking it very seriously. If you take it non-seriously, then there is no need to be worried even if you are attracted to women. Don’t be worried, because your worry is not going to help. It’s perfectly okay. Yes, once in a while you may love a woman or a man. Nothing is wrong in it, because inside you both are there.

Each man is both a man and a woman, and each woman is both a woman and a man, because you are born out of the meeting of one man and one woman. So half of ‘you’ comes from your father and half of ‘you’ comes from your mother; part of you is man and part of you is woman.

Do not be worried just because you are attracted towards the Same Gender

So, there is nothing much to be worried about. It may be that your man part is attracted towards other women, but because biologically you are a woman you feel afraid. No need to be afraid! Take things easily that is my basic approach. Take it easy. And by taking things easy one can go beyond them more comfortably, conveniently, quickly, than by taking things seriously. If you take them seriously you become entangled with them, you become burdened with them. And this is not such a big problem. There are bigger problems.

You are attracted to women: perfectly good. Go deep into relationship with women. If you make an anxiety out of it you will not be able to go deep in relationship with a woman. If you go deep in relationship with women, my understanding is that sooner or later you will find that this relationship cannot be very fulfilling, because two women are alike. And a relationship needs a certain tension to be fulfilling, a certain polarity to be fulfilling.

Two women in love, or two men in love, will have a good relationship, but it will not be very spicy.

It will be a little dull, monotonous, a little boring. But if you go deeply, only then will you become aware of these things. Your anxiety will not allow you to go deep, and then your whole life you will remain interested and attracted towards women. My approach about all problems is that if anything is there, go deeply into it, so either you find the treasure, if it has any treasure, or you find that it is empty. In both cases you are enriched. If you find the treasure, of course you are enriched. If you find it is empty, you are finished with it.

Go as deeply as possible in your relationships with women — don’t be worried. Soon you will see that there is a different kind of relationship that can exist only between polar opposites. Then go into a deep relationship with a man, because only by going deep in relationship with a man will you be able to know that all relationships fall short. Even the man/woman relationship falls short; it never brings you the contentment it promises.

Only through your own experience — not by what Buddha says, not by what I say…only through your own experience will you one day be able to go beyond all relationships. Then you can be happy alone. And the person who can be happy alone is really an individual. If your happiness depends on the other, you are a slave; you are not yet free, you are in bondage.

Being alone leads you to Meditativeness

When you are happy alone, when you can live with yourself, there is no intrinsic necessity to be in relationship. That does not mean that you will not relate. But to relate is one thing, and to be in relationship is quite another. Relationship is a kind of bondage, relating is sharing. You will relate with many people, you will share your joy with many people, but you will not depend on anyone in particular and you will not allow anybody else to depend on you. Then you live out of freedom, out of joy, out of love. Then that will lead you into meditativeness, into solitude, into that beauty, that benediction, which happens only when you are alone.