Is it OKAY to fall in love with the same Gender?

Sex has been called the original sin. It is neither original nor sin.

Sex is such a fundamental activity in nature that the ego of man started trying to get rid of it. The first thing I would like you to remember: sex is natural. There is no need to make any effort to get rid of it…although I know a moment comes when you transcend it that is something totally different. It is not by your effort that you can get rid of it; if you try to get rid of it you will fall a victim of perversions. Because for centuries man has been trying to get rid of sex, he has created many kinds of perversions. Homosexuality has arisen because we have deprived people of heterosexuality.

Homosexuality is quite normal in Humans

Homosexuality was born as a religious phenomenon in the monasteries because we forced monks to live together in one place and nuns to live in one place, and we separated them by great walls. Homosexuality is bound to happen. It happens only in monasteries and in the army, because these are the two places where we don’t allow men and women to mix. Or it happens in boys’ and girls’ hostels; there also we don’t allow them to mix. The whole phenomenon of homosexuality is a by-product of this whole stupid upbringing. Homosexuality will disappear from the world the day we allow men and women to meet naturally.

From their very childhood we start separating them. If a boy is playing with girls we condemn him. We say, “What are you doing? Are you a sissy? You are a boy, you are a man! Be a man, don’t play with girls!” If a boy is playing with dolls we immediately condemn him: “This is for girls.” If a girl is trying to climb a tree we stop her immediately: “This is not right; this is against feminine grace.” If a girl tries and persists and is rebellious she is called a tomboy; she is not respected.

It is perfectly OKAY to be Homosexual

Sex should be taken very naturally — we have been taking it very seriously. If you take it non-seriously, then there is no need to be worried even if you are attracted to women. Don’t be worried, because your worry is not going to help. It’s perfectly okay. Yes, once in a while you may love a woman or a man. Nothing is wrong in it, because inside you both are there.

Each man is both a man and a woman, and each woman is both a woman and a man, because you are born out of the meeting of one man and one woman. So half of ‘you’ comes from your father and half of ‘you’ comes from your mother; part of you is man and part of you is woman.

Do not be worried just because you are attracted towards the Same Gender

So, there is nothing much to be worried about. It may be that your man part is attracted towards other women, but because biologically you are a woman you feel afraid. No need to be afraid! Take things easily that is my basic approach. Take it easy. And by taking things easy one can go beyond them more comfortably, conveniently, quickly, than by taking things seriously. If you take them seriously you become entangled with them, you become burdened with them. And this is not such a big problem. There are bigger problems.

You are attracted to women: perfectly good. Go deep into relationship with women. If you make an anxiety out of it you will not be able to go deep in relationship with a woman. If you go deep in relationship with women, my understanding is that sooner or later you will find that this relationship cannot be very fulfilling, because two women are alike. And a relationship needs a certain tension to be fulfilling, a certain polarity to be fulfilling.

Two women in love, or two men in love, will have a good relationship, but it will not be very spicy.

It will be a little dull, monotonous, a little boring. But if you go deeply, only then will you become aware of these things. Your anxiety will not allow you to go deep, and then your whole life you will remain interested and attracted towards women. My approach about all problems is that if anything is there, go deeply into it, so either you find the treasure, if it has any treasure, or you find that it is empty. In both cases you are enriched. If you find the treasure, of course you are enriched. If you find it is empty, you are finished with it.

Go as deeply as possible in your relationships with women — don’t be worried. Soon you will see that there is a different kind of relationship that can exist only between polar opposites. Then go into a deep relationship with a man, because only by going deep in relationship with a man will you be able to know that all relationships fall short. Even the man/woman relationship falls short; it never brings you the contentment it promises.

Only through your own experience — not by what Buddha says, not by what I say…only through your own experience will you one day be able to go beyond all relationships. Then you can be happy alone. And the person who can be happy alone is really an individual. If your happiness depends on the other, you are a slave; you are not yet free, you are in bondage.

Being alone leads you to Meditativeness

When you are happy alone, when you can live with yourself, there is no intrinsic necessity to be in relationship. That does not mean that you will not relate. But to relate is one thing, and to be in relationship is quite another. Relationship is a kind of bondage, relating is sharing. You will relate with many people, you will share your joy with many people, but you will not depend on anyone in particular and you will not allow anybody else to depend on you. Then you live out of freedom, out of joy, out of love. Then that will lead you into meditativeness, into solitude, into that beauty, that benediction, which happens only when you are alone.

Stop Comparing Yourself. You are the only Original Piece in the Entire World

Being single is not easy. It’s not difficult, either.

We live in a world where people put their lives on display. Pictures of engagements, babies and marriages are plastered all over the Internet for everyone to see.

With that happening, it’s easy to compare yourself to others, thinking that because you’re single, you have achieved less in life, are missing out or are totally alone.

The way I see it, you have two choices.

You can be in a rut, a funk or a cloud that prevents you from socially exploring the city in which you live, branching out, making new friends and ultimately, confining you to your couch on a Friday night, hanging out with your new best friends, Cabernet and Netflix. That’s totally cool. I love me a goblet of wine and television binge from time to time.

However, you could instead be the person who looks at the positives and realizes this particular time in our lives is open for interpretation. People at your office might be younger and have higher positions than you in your company and the same goes for relationships, but we all find happiness at different ages and stages.

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You should stop comparing yourself to other people right now.

Our generation has been brought up to broadcast our triumphs and mishaps. You might be the only single person in your group of friends. When you see people in serious relationships, married or having kids, it might be instinctual to feel like you are behind the curve of life. Yet, that is simply not the case.

As a culture, we need to disassociate the term “single” from its negative connotations; it is not a disease, a curse or a deplorable state of being that we are forced to constantly fight because we think a human counterpart is the only way to reach complete happiness.

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Stop praising other peoples’ accomplishments if they lead you to minimize your own.

Your friends may be engaged, married or popping out kids faster than the pimples on a teenager’s face, but you moved out of your childhood home, got your first job and cooked a meal that didn’t kill anyone.

Everyone has small and large victories, and those victories don’t necessarily come in that order. Ultimately, people are wired differently and getting married isn’t the greatest thing you will ever achieve as a human being. If we all did the same things at the same pace, life would be boring, mundane and predictable.

The greatest truth to life is that we cannot see the future; we don’t know where we’ll end up no matter how hard we try. Stop trying to orchestrate something over which you have no control.

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Stop convincing yourself that you’re missing out and realize what you can achieve. You don’t have answer to anyone but yourself.

Being single is an advantage and an opportunity. Spare your face the wrinkles and stop worrying about not having a significant other. When you’re single, you can do whatever the hell you want!

Sure, that weird girl from your high school, who used to eat banana peels in science class, got engaged in a hot air balloon and posted some cool pictures. That’s awesome. But, with all the extra time you won’t be devoting to the stress that is wedding planning, you can focus on your work and go for that promotion you’ve been wanting.

Take some of the extra cash you’ve saved up and go on a mission trip to help other people. Find a hobby you love and a passion that keeps you sane during the workday. Figure out what you can do for you to make your life worth living.

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Stop thinking it has to do with your appearance, your personality or your availability.

It really shouldn’t surprise you that the guy from that dating app didn’t call you back after you met up at a bar and had a magical night together. Those apps are purely based on physical attraction and are flooded with overly hormonal people who will say and do whatever they can to hook up with you.

If you want to find a boyfriend or girlfriend, there are websites out there that are reputable and include people who really are looking for love.

Don’t blame Tinder for your non-existent relationship. Don’t blame the fact that you have a busy work schedule or that you don’t think people find you attractive. Just stop searching. Ironically, we often come to find exactly what we’re looking for when we’re not looking at all.

Make yourself available, presentable and personable and the stars will start to align for you. Even when they don’t, move on; stop dwelling. Like I said, you’re too young to have stress wrinkles.

Life is what you make it. So, rather than being sad because you don’t have a special someone, go out and do something for yourself, something that makes you happy to lead the life you’re living.

Why do humans get angry?

Courtesy: Complete Well-Being

Would we get angry if an empty boat collided with our boat? No. But we would, if the boat had somebody in it. Why?

An Empty Boat

It is ordinary to try to be extraordinary

Chuang Tzu is a rare flowering, because to become nobody is the most difficult, almost impossible, most extraordinary thing in the world. The ordinary mind wants to be extraordinary, that is part of ordinariness; the ordinary mind desires to be somebody in particular, that is part of ordinariness. You may become an Alexander, but you remain ordinary – then who is the extraordinary one? The extra ordinariness starts only when you don’t want extra ordinariness.
Then the journey has started, and then a new seed has sprouted. This is what Chuang Tzu means when he says: A perfect man is like an empty boat. Many things are implied in it. First, an empty boat is not going anywhere because there is nobody to direct it, nobody to manipulate it, nobody to drive it somewhere. An empty boat is just there, it is not going anywhere. Even if it is moving it is not going anywhere.
When the mind is not there, life will remain a movement, but it will not be directed. You will move, you will change, you will be a river-like flow, but not going anywhere, with no goal in view. A perfect man lives without any purpose; a perfect man moves but without any motive. If you ask a perfect man, “What are you doing?” he will say, “I don’t know, but this is what is happening”. Mind can live in the future, but cannot live in the present. In the present you can simply hope and desire. And that’s how you create misery. If you start living this very moment, here and now, misery disappears.

Ignorance breeds anger

Even then sometimes people will be angry – they are even angry with a Buddha. Because there are foolish people who, if their boat collides with an empty boat, they will not look to see whether someone is in it or not. They will start shouting; they will get so messed up within themselves that they will not be able to see whether someone is in it or not. But even then the empty boat can enjoy it because then the anger never hits you; you are not there, so whom can it hit? This symbol of the empty boat is really beautiful. People are angry because you are too much there, because you are too heavy there – so solid they cannot pass. And life is intertwined with everybody. If you are too much, then everywhere there will be collision, anger, depression, aggression, violence – the conflict continues.
Whenever you feel that someone is angry or someone has collided with you, you always think that he is responsible. This is how ignorance concludes, interprets. Ignorance always says, “The other is responsible.” Wisdom always says, “If somebody is responsible, then I am responsible, and the only way not to collide is not to be.” “I am responsible” doesn’t mean, “I am doing something that is why they are angry.” That is not the question. You may not be doing anything, but just your being there is enough for people to get angry. The question is not whether you are doing good or bad. The question is that you are there.

Being is the problem

This is the difference between Tao and other religions. Other religions say: Be good, behave in such a way that no one gets angry with you. Tao says: Don’t be. It is not a question of whether you behave or misbehave. This is not the question. Even a good man, even a very saintly man, creates anger, because he is there. Sometimes a good man creates more anger than a bad man, because a good man means a very subtle egoist. A bad man feels guilty – his boat may be filled, but he feels guilty. He is not really so spread out on the boat, his guilt helps him to shrink. A good man feels himself to be so good that he fills the boat completely, overfills it.

All the religions have been teaching you to fight against nature

Religions say that you have to manage to do something unnatural

All the religions have been teaching you to fight against nature. Whatsoever is natural, is condemned. Religions say that you have to manage to do something unnatural, only then can you get out of the imprisonment of biology, physiology, psychology, and all the walls that surround you. But if you go on in harmony with your body, with your mind, with your heart, then the religions say you will never be able to go beyond you. That’s where I oppose all the religions. They have put a poisonous seed in your being, so you live in your body, but you don’t love your body.

The body serves you for 70, 80, 90, even 100 years, and there is no other mechanism that science has been able to invent which can be compared to the body. Its complexities, its miracles that it goes on doing for you. and you don’t even say thank you. You treat your body as your enemy, although your body is your friend. 

Perhaps every cell of your body has a small brain in it.

It takes care of you in every possible way, while you are awake, while you are asleep. Even in sleep it goes on taking care of you. When you are asleep and a spider starts moving on your leg, your leg throws it away without bothering you. The leg has a small brain of its own. So for small matters there is no need to go to the central system, to go to the brain—that much the leg can do. A mosquito is biting you, your hands move it or kill it, and your sleep is not disturbed. The hand is not supposed to have a brain, but certainly it has something which can only be called a very small brain. Even while you are asleep your body is continuously protecting you, and doing things which it is not generally supposed to. Perhaps every cell of your body has a small brain in it. And there are millions of cells in your body, millions of small brains, moving around, continuously taking care of you. 

The body has certain wisdom of its own.
 

You go on eating all kinds of things without bothering what happens when you swallow them. You don’t ask the body whether its mechanism, its chemistry, will be able to digest what you are eating. But somehow your inner chemistry goes on working for almost a century. It has an automatic system of replacing parts which have gone wrong. It goes on throwing them out, creating new parts; and you have to do nothing about it, goes on happening on its own. The body has certain wisdom of its own.

And the religions say that the body is your enemy, you have to starve it, you have to hit it hard, because unless you starve it, torture it, how are you going to be free of it? They say the only way to be free of it is to cut all attachments to it. They teach you hatred for your body, and this is something so dangerous. The very idea turns your greatest friend into your greatest enemy. 

Body simply serves you without any payment from your side, no salary, no facilities, and religions says go against it

These religions go on saying to you, “You have to be always fighting, you have to move against the current. Don’t listen to the body—whatever it says, do just the opposite. The body is hungry, let it be hungry. You starve it, it needs that treatment.” It simply serves you without any payment from your side, no salary, no facilities, and religions says go against it. When it wants to fall asleep, try to remain awake.

It is not your foe, it is your friend. It is a gift of nature to you. It is part of nature. It is joined with nature in every possible way. You are bridged not only with breathing; with sun rays you are bridged, with the fragrance of flowers you are bridged, with the moonlight you are bridged. You are bridged from everywhere; you are not a separate island. Drop that idea. You are part of this whole continent, and yet… it has given you an individuality. This is what I call a miracle. You are part and parcel of existence, yet you have an individuality. Existence has done a miracle, has made possible something impossible.

Men & Women, do they understand each other?

Man and woman make a single unit. So do our body parts and mind. Understanding the unity of polarities is the secret to feeling complete.

Basically, the polarities can be named man/woman: the masculine, the feminine. And it is closer to our human reality to understand it that way. We can call it negative and positive, but that would be a little far away. To call it yin and yang, Shiva and Shakti, man and woman, brings it very close to our heart—we know this duality.

Accept your other half

Man is attracted towards the woman, the woman is attracted towards the man, and yet when they are together they constantly fight. They cannot live separately and they cannot live together either. Attraction is tremendous, repulsion too. When you are with your woman or with your man, you start thinking of how to be alone. You start thinking of freedom, of being alone, and the beauty and the silence and all that. When you are alone you simply start feeling lonely and you start hankering for the other, and you start thinking of those loving spaces, warmth and all that. When alone you want to be together, when together you want to be alone.

Watch it; it has a great message for you. It simply says: you are half and the woman is half. Together you become one. But then a problem arises. In that moment of oneness, you are ecstatic, you rejoice, but then the problem arises: this oneness, is it man or woman? Which is the dominating factor? That is the conflict. Man and woman want to be one, but man wants to remain the dominating factor in that oneness; the woman should surrender, submit. And the same is the desire from the woman’s side that the man should surrender and submit.

Both want to be one, but that oneness has to be ‘mine’. If I am man then that oneness has to be man’s; the woman has to disappear into the man. If I am a woman then it has to be that of woman; the man has to disappear into the woman. Hence the conflict, the attraction and the repulsion, and the whole comedy and tragedy of life.

Follow your nature

The people, who are intelligent, should create a man’s movement for women’s liberation. They should fight! It is their imposed slavery on woman—they should feel guilty, they should undo whatsoever they have done. But if the woman starts fighting—and then naturally she starts thinking to be creative, paint, dance, sing, sculpt, compose—very unconsciously she is imitating man. And remember, woman imitating man will always be a second-rate man. And that is ugly. The very effort of being equal is lost. The woman can only be a first-rate woman. If she wants to be a man, she will only be a second-rate man. It is just the same way if a man wants to be receptive: he can’t have that natural receptivity of a woman. He will become a second-rate woman. To be first-rate you have to follow your nature.

Never imitate. Follow your own intrinsic nature. Follow your own built-in nature; because only from the fulfilment of that nature does one arrive to a state of bliss, fulfilment, contentment. Woman creates life, life in general, life as a universal phenomenon. Man, or the male element, creates human nature. Man is particular; woman is universal. Man goes into details of things. Man becomes a specialist. That’s why male-dominated fields all become fields of specialisation sooner or later.

Man has created much knowledge and has gone into deep detail, but now there is nobody to make a whole out of that knowledge. Nobody knows how to create a synthesis. That synthesis is possible only through a woman, not through a man, because woman is a universalising principle.

Man dissects. Woman unites. That’s why a woman feels closer to religion than a man, and has always felt closer to religion than a man. You may not have observed the fact. The fundamental fact is that religion thinks in terms of one, wholeness, totality. That’s what Tao is, or God, or whatsoever you will.