9 Signs You Know You Can Trust Someone With Your Heart

It really amazes me what falling in love can do. It turns closed up, self-centered, arrogant, private individuals into people willing to open themselves up, expose themselves and voluntarily make themselves vulnerable. Love really does seem like a mental disorder. Love makes us want to give ourselves over to another.

We let down our guards and allow those we love to see the real us – naked and vulnerable. This is where the fun part comes: giving yourself up too soon will likely ruin what you have. The very same can be said for giving into love too late.

There’s a narrow window of time that relies heavily on those involved. Sometimes things align just right and they work out wonderfully. The real task is knowing that window when you see it.

1. You’ve known this person for at least a year (two if you want be safe).

You may not be able to help falling for someone, but you can help letting him or her know too early. Once you say those three words, your relationship goes to the next level; it will never be able to level back down again. Once you love someone, you’re supposed to love that person forever (or so we’re led to believe).

Before giving someone your heart and taking the relationship to the next level, make sure that you know who you’re getting into bed with. No pun intended.

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2. As far as you know, this person has never lied to you.

And if he or she has, you at least never found out. I understand that most people are entirely against lying, but the truth is that no one wants to be told the truth all the time. Reality is harsh and having it softened by those who love us can be a wonderful thing. There are some lies, however, that shouldn’t be told.

Certain types of lies are formed out of malice and deception. If you know you’ve been lied to before and were hurt by the knowledge itself then you may want to rethink moving forward. It’s not the lie that hurts, but the truth that it’s covering. You don’t want to be with someone who hurt you in the past while lying to you about it.

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3. This person doesn’t need to be chased after – you simply manage to find each other.

Before you hand your heart over, be sure that the person you’re handing it over to actually cares about you. It’s not difficult to tell. If he or she is there when you need and isn’t always the one who is in need, then it’s a good bet that this person really enjoys spending time with you. If he or she enjoys your company that much then he or she most definitely cares about you. Beware those who seem to be regularly unavailable.

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4. This person told you that he or she isn’t “going anywhere” and you believe it.

Before people say “I love you” they tend to ease in with an “I’m not going anywhere” remark, or its equivalent, strategically fitted as a witty and romantic response. If this person doesn’t plan on running off and is falling for you, he or she is likely to start by making you feel safe.

This person wants you to trust in him or her because this person wants to be able to one day, in the near future, exchange those words. If this person has already told you that he or she loves you, hearing “I’m not going anywhere” from time to time is still a nice reminder that you made the right decision.

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5. This person has always treated you well and has respected you.

If he or she has been treating you poorly then don’t expect that to ever change. If this person doesn’t respect you then he or she isn’t the type of person you should be with and definitely isn’t the one you should be giving you heart to. Your partner should be your partner, not your owner.

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6. This person is always there for you when you need him or her.

This one is a big one. A lot of people are quick to talk big, but are nowhere to be found when it comes time to actually follow through. The person you should love is the person who will never abandon you, never leave you alone and stranded, never give up on you or let you go. If he or she isn’t that person then forget about him or her and keep searching.

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7. This person is willing to inconvenience him or herself to make you happy.

Being inconvenienced is nothing more than being uncomfortable. If this person isn’t willing to be uncomfortable for you then he or she won’t be willing to do a whole lot for you throughout your relationship. People have very neat comfort zones – leaving them is often pretty easy, but uncomfortable. This person should be willing to sacrifice his or her comfort for yours.

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8. This person is trustworthy.

If you can’t trust him or her with your secrets then he or she isn’t a very good partner. You need to trust the person you have feelings for before you allow yourself to accept that you love him or her. You have to be able to trust this person – trust him or her as a friend, lover and as a partner. If you can rely on and count on him or her to catch you when you fall, then and only then, should you be willing to make yourself that vulnerable.

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9. You’re ready for this.

This is one that is most often overlooked. It’s not enough that your partner is right and ready to take the relationship to the next level. We ourselves have to be ready for it.

We often are too busy thinking and worrying about those we are falling for to consider if we are prepared to play the part ourselves. Are you ready to follow through on points one through eight? If you’re not then it doesn’t matter if your partner is, does it?

Try to Figure out Love

You cannot measure love; and love does not diminish when you share it, says OSHO

“When the whole is taken from the whole, behold, the remainder is whole” — Ishavasya

From the point of view of ordinary arithmetic this is absolutely incorrect. If we remove some part of a thing, the remainder cannot be the same as it was originally. Something less will remain. If I take ten rupees from a safe containing millions of rupees, the total will be something less. It will be less even if ten paise are taken out.

The remainder cannot be equal to the amount as it originally was. Similarly, however great the fortune may be, ten paise added will make it greater. But according to this sutra, the whole may be taken from the whole, not just ten paise but the entire fortune, and still the remainder is whole.

This seems like the babbling of a madman whose knowledge of arithmetic is nil. Even a beginner knows that a thing will be less if something is taken from it, no matter how little is taken; and if the whole is taken, there will be nothing left at all. But this sutra declares that not just something, but the whole, remains. Those who know only the logic of the money-box will certainly not understand this phenomenon. Understanding appears from an altogether new direction.

Give To Have More
Does your love decrease when you give it to someone? Do you experience any shortage of love when you give it totally? No! ‘Love’ is the word we need to come to an understanding of this sutra; this is the word we shall have to use. However much you may part with your love, what you are left with remains as much as it was originally.

The act of giving it away produces no shortage. On the contrary, it grows, increasing as you give it away, entering you deeper and deeper as you distribute it more and more. As you give it freely away, the wealth of love within you begins to grow. One who gives his total love, freely and unconditionally, becomes the possessor of infinite love.

Simple arithmetic can never comprehend that when the whole is taken from the whole, the remainder is whole. Only love can find the meaning in this statement. Perhaps, through Meera and Chaitanya you can find your way to understanding, for this is a subject relating to some other, unknown dimension, in which nothing decreases when given away. The only experience you have that can enable you to understand this in a sudden flash of insight is love.

If, having given your love, you experience a sense of loss, then know that you have no experience of love at all. When you give your love to someone, and feel within you that something has disappeared, then know that what you gave must have been something else. It cannot be love. It must be something belonging to the world of dollars and pounds.

It must be a measurable thing which can be valued in figures, weighed in a balance and estimated in metres. Remember, whatever is measurable is subject to the law of diminution. Only that which is immeasurable and unfathomable will remain the same no matter how much is taken from it.

Drop Your Delusion
If someone loves me, I want that she love no one else, because my reasoning says that love divided is love diminished. So I seek to become sole owner and possessor of her love. My demand is that the person loving me give not even a loving glance to anyone else; such a glance is poison because “I know” that now her love for me will begin to diminish.

If I cling to this notion of love diminishing, I need to accept that I have no idea what love is. If I had any appreciation of true love, I would want my beloved to go out and give it freely to the whole world, because through so giving it she would come to understand its secrets and mysteries, and as she falls deeper and deeper into love, her love towards me, too, would overflow. Love is immeasurable. Drop your delusion that true love diminishes when it is shared.

Love Vs Hate

In this world, Hate never yet dispelled hate. Only love dispels hate. This is the law ‘Ancient and inexhaustible’

What is the law? That hate never dispels hate – darkness cannot dispel darkness – that only love dispels hate. Only light can dispel darkness: love is light, the light of your being, and hate is the darkness of your being. If you are dark inside, you go on throwing hate all around you. If you are light within, luminous, and then you go on radiating light around you.

Aes dhammo sanantano… ‘This is the law, ancient and inexhaustible’ – Buddha repeats this again and again that this is the eternal law. What is the eternal law? Only love dispels hate, only light dispels darkness. Why? Because darkness in itself is only a negative state; it has no positive existence of its own.

It does not exist really – how can you dispel it?

You cannot do anything directly to darkness. If you want to do anything to darkness, you will have to do something with light. Bring light in and darkness is gone, take light out and darkness comes in. But you cannot bring darkness in or out directly – you cannot do anything with darkness. Remember, you cannot do anything with hate either.

Morals Vs Mystics

And that’s the difference between moral teachers and religious mystics: moral teachers go on offering the false law. They go on offering, “Fight with darkness – fight with hate, fight with anger, fight with sex, fight with this, fight with that!” Their whole approach is, “Fight the negative,” while the real, true Master teaches you the positive law: aes dhammo sanantano – the eternal law, “Do not fight with darkness.” And hate is darkness, and sex is darkness, and jealousy is darkness, and greed is darkness and anger is darkness. Bring the light in.

How is the light to be brought in? Become silent, thoughtless, conscious, alert, aware, and awake – this is how light is brought in. And the moment you are alert and aware, hate will not be found. Try to hate somebody with awareness. These are experiments to be done, not just words to be understood.

It’s Impossible ‘to Hate’

Try to hate somebody consciously and you will find it impossible. Either consciousness disappears, then you can hate; or if you are conscious, hate disappears. Consciousness and hate can’t exist together. There is no co-existence possible: light and darkness cannot exist together – because darkness is nothing but the absence of light.

Buddha says: Remember, if you depend on the senses you will remain very fragile — because senses cannot give you strength…they cannot give you a constant foundation. They are constantly in flux; everything is changing. Where can you have a shelter? Where can you make a foundation?

One moment this woman looks beautiful, and another moment, another woman looks beautiful. If you just decide by the senses, you will be in constant turmoil – you cannot decide because senses go on changing their opinions. One moment, something seems so incredible, and another moment, it is just ugly. And we depend on these senses.

Depend On Awareness

Buddha says: Don’t depend on senses – depend on awareness. Awareness is something hidden behind the senses. It is not the eye that sees. If you go to the eye specialist, he will say it is the eye that sees, but that is not true. The eye is only a mechanism through which somebody else sees. The eye is only a window; the window cannot see. When you stand at the window, you can look outside. Somebody passing in the street may think, “The window is seeing me.”

The eye is only an aperture. Who is behind the eye?

Meditation will make you awake, strong and humble. Meditation will make you awake because it will give you the first experience of yourself. You are not the body, you are not the mind – you are the pure witnessing consciousness.

Is Rebirth Fact or Fiction?

A well-known professor in an Indian university who is conducting research on rebirth came to meet me. At the very start of his conversation, he asserted that he was going to prove the theory of rebirth scientifically. It was apparent that his mind was already made up in favour of rebirth and he was looking for scientific evidence to support it. But it was utterly unscientific to accept something before fully investigating it from all sides. If someone wants to be scientific, he should say that he wants to enquire whether the theory of reincarnation is true or not.

Impotence of Logic

If you want to prove the theory of rebirth, you can find any number of arguments in its favour. Philosophy has been debating this question for 5,000 years and nothing has been solved yet. There are people who believe in rebirth and there are equal numbers who don’t believe in it. And no side has been able to convince the other side of the validity of its standpoint.

It is ironical that you can convince only one who is already convinced; you cannot convince the unconvinced. This is impotence of logic, which it fails to see. You can easily convince a Hindu of the truth of rebirth, because it is part of his belief system. But you will know how impotent logic is when you try to convince a Muslim of the truth of this theory.

Logic is a skill which works well for those who use it to prove something which they believe to be true. Therefore, it is not a right question to ask if rebirth can be proved philosophically.

The right question is, “Is there a way to approach the question of rebirth scientifically?” Science is pure enquiry; it is objective and impartial. While philosophy and logic have their standpoints for or against a belief, a proposition, science has none. A scientific mind means that it is open and impartial; it wants to find the truth, it is open to both the alternatives, both sides of a thing; it is not closed. Science does not depend on belief. It wants to investigate into the truth or otherwise of a hypothesis.

Objective Enquiry

Science is the only discipline prepared to re-examine its own findings and conclusions. Science is prepared for any possibility that an objective enquiry and investigation can lead to. Science has only recently begun to take interest in matters like reincarnation.

It is only 50 years since psychic societies came into being in America and Europe, and they have done some good work in this direction. A handful of intelligent people with a scientific bent, like Oliver Lodge, Broad, and Rhine have explored new frontiers of the human mind. They are all men of scientific persuasion; they don’t have any beliefs and prejudices of their own. They have done some real work on life-after-death and incarnation. Their findings are authentic and they go a long way in support of reincarnation. Now there are scientific techniques to contact bodiless souls, and they have been contacted, and every care has been taken to eliminate the chances of deception and fraud in the use of these techniques.

In the past, there have been many cases of fraudulent séances to communicate with the dead. But if even a single case of authentic necromancy succeeds, it is enough. And many such experiments to contact bodiless spirits have been successful in establishing that souls change their bodies; that they are born again and again.

Contacting Spirits

A number of people, who had devoted their lives to necromancy before leaving their bodies, had promised to their psychic societies that they would communicate with them after death, in a specific manner. And some of them did succeed in their efforts. They communicated some very valuable information regarding the life-after-death phenomenon to their societies, and this information goes a long way in the support of rebirth.