Stop Comparing Yourself. You are the only Original Piece in the Entire World

Being single is not easy. It’s not difficult, either.

We live in a world where people put their lives on display. Pictures of engagements, babies and marriages are plastered all over the Internet for everyone to see.

With that happening, it’s easy to compare yourself to others, thinking that because you’re single, you have achieved less in life, are missing out or are totally alone.

The way I see it, you have two choices.

You can be in a rut, a funk or a cloud that prevents you from socially exploring the city in which you live, branching out, making new friends and ultimately, confining you to your couch on a Friday night, hanging out with your new best friends, Cabernet and Netflix. That’s totally cool. I love me a goblet of wine and television binge from time to time.

However, you could instead be the person who looks at the positives and realizes this particular time in our lives is open for interpretation. People at your office might be younger and have higher positions than you in your company and the same goes for relationships, but we all find happiness at different ages and stages.

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You should stop comparing yourself to other people right now.

Our generation has been brought up to broadcast our triumphs and mishaps. You might be the only single person in your group of friends. When you see people in serious relationships, married or having kids, it might be instinctual to feel like you are behind the curve of life. Yet, that is simply not the case.

As a culture, we need to disassociate the term “single” from its negative connotations; it is not a disease, a curse or a deplorable state of being that we are forced to constantly fight because we think a human counterpart is the only way to reach complete happiness.

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Stop praising other peoples’ accomplishments if they lead you to minimize your own.

Your friends may be engaged, married or popping out kids faster than the pimples on a teenager’s face, but you moved out of your childhood home, got your first job and cooked a meal that didn’t kill anyone.

Everyone has small and large victories, and those victories don’t necessarily come in that order. Ultimately, people are wired differently and getting married isn’t the greatest thing you will ever achieve as a human being. If we all did the same things at the same pace, life would be boring, mundane and predictable.

The greatest truth to life is that we cannot see the future; we don’t know where we’ll end up no matter how hard we try. Stop trying to orchestrate something over which you have no control.

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Stop convincing yourself that you’re missing out and realize what you can achieve. You don’t have answer to anyone but yourself.

Being single is an advantage and an opportunity. Spare your face the wrinkles and stop worrying about not having a significant other. When you’re single, you can do whatever the hell you want!

Sure, that weird girl from your high school, who used to eat banana peels in science class, got engaged in a hot air balloon and posted some cool pictures. That’s awesome. But, with all the extra time you won’t be devoting to the stress that is wedding planning, you can focus on your work and go for that promotion you’ve been wanting.

Take some of the extra cash you’ve saved up and go on a mission trip to help other people. Find a hobby you love and a passion that keeps you sane during the workday. Figure out what you can do for you to make your life worth living.

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Stop thinking it has to do with your appearance, your personality or your availability.

It really shouldn’t surprise you that the guy from that dating app didn’t call you back after you met up at a bar and had a magical night together. Those apps are purely based on physical attraction and are flooded with overly hormonal people who will say and do whatever they can to hook up with you.

If you want to find a boyfriend or girlfriend, there are websites out there that are reputable and include people who really are looking for love.

Don’t blame Tinder for your non-existent relationship. Don’t blame the fact that you have a busy work schedule or that you don’t think people find you attractive. Just stop searching. Ironically, we often come to find exactly what we’re looking for when we’re not looking at all.

Make yourself available, presentable and personable and the stars will start to align for you. Even when they don’t, move on; stop dwelling. Like I said, you’re too young to have stress wrinkles.

Life is what you make it. So, rather than being sad because you don’t have a special someone, go out and do something for yourself, something that makes you happy to lead the life you’re living.

Try to Figure out Love

You cannot measure love; and love does not diminish when you share it, says OSHO

“When the whole is taken from the whole, behold, the remainder is whole” — Ishavasya

From the point of view of ordinary arithmetic this is absolutely incorrect. If we remove some part of a thing, the remainder cannot be the same as it was originally. Something less will remain. If I take ten rupees from a safe containing millions of rupees, the total will be something less. It will be less even if ten paise are taken out.

The remainder cannot be equal to the amount as it originally was. Similarly, however great the fortune may be, ten paise added will make it greater. But according to this sutra, the whole may be taken from the whole, not just ten paise but the entire fortune, and still the remainder is whole.

This seems like the babbling of a madman whose knowledge of arithmetic is nil. Even a beginner knows that a thing will be less if something is taken from it, no matter how little is taken; and if the whole is taken, there will be nothing left at all. But this sutra declares that not just something, but the whole, remains. Those who know only the logic of the money-box will certainly not understand this phenomenon. Understanding appears from an altogether new direction.

Give To Have More
Does your love decrease when you give it to someone? Do you experience any shortage of love when you give it totally? No! ‘Love’ is the word we need to come to an understanding of this sutra; this is the word we shall have to use. However much you may part with your love, what you are left with remains as much as it was originally.

The act of giving it away produces no shortage. On the contrary, it grows, increasing as you give it away, entering you deeper and deeper as you distribute it more and more. As you give it freely away, the wealth of love within you begins to grow. One who gives his total love, freely and unconditionally, becomes the possessor of infinite love.

Simple arithmetic can never comprehend that when the whole is taken from the whole, the remainder is whole. Only love can find the meaning in this statement. Perhaps, through Meera and Chaitanya you can find your way to understanding, for this is a subject relating to some other, unknown dimension, in which nothing decreases when given away. The only experience you have that can enable you to understand this in a sudden flash of insight is love.

If, having given your love, you experience a sense of loss, then know that you have no experience of love at all. When you give your love to someone, and feel within you that something has disappeared, then know that what you gave must have been something else. It cannot be love. It must be something belonging to the world of dollars and pounds.

It must be a measurable thing which can be valued in figures, weighed in a balance and estimated in metres. Remember, whatever is measurable is subject to the law of diminution. Only that which is immeasurable and unfathomable will remain the same no matter how much is taken from it.

Drop Your Delusion
If someone loves me, I want that she love no one else, because my reasoning says that love divided is love diminished. So I seek to become sole owner and possessor of her love. My demand is that the person loving me give not even a loving glance to anyone else; such a glance is poison because “I know” that now her love for me will begin to diminish.

If I cling to this notion of love diminishing, I need to accept that I have no idea what love is. If I had any appreciation of true love, I would want my beloved to go out and give it freely to the whole world, because through so giving it she would come to understand its secrets and mysteries, and as she falls deeper and deeper into love, her love towards me, too, would overflow. Love is immeasurable. Drop your delusion that true love diminishes when it is shared.

Love Vs Hate

In this world, Hate never yet dispelled hate. Only love dispels hate. This is the law ‘Ancient and inexhaustible’

What is the law? That hate never dispels hate – darkness cannot dispel darkness – that only love dispels hate. Only light can dispel darkness: love is light, the light of your being, and hate is the darkness of your being. If you are dark inside, you go on throwing hate all around you. If you are light within, luminous, and then you go on radiating light around you.

Aes dhammo sanantano… ‘This is the law, ancient and inexhaustible’ – Buddha repeats this again and again that this is the eternal law. What is the eternal law? Only love dispels hate, only light dispels darkness. Why? Because darkness in itself is only a negative state; it has no positive existence of its own.

It does not exist really – how can you dispel it?

You cannot do anything directly to darkness. If you want to do anything to darkness, you will have to do something with light. Bring light in and darkness is gone, take light out and darkness comes in. But you cannot bring darkness in or out directly – you cannot do anything with darkness. Remember, you cannot do anything with hate either.

Morals Vs Mystics

And that’s the difference between moral teachers and religious mystics: moral teachers go on offering the false law. They go on offering, “Fight with darkness – fight with hate, fight with anger, fight with sex, fight with this, fight with that!” Their whole approach is, “Fight the negative,” while the real, true Master teaches you the positive law: aes dhammo sanantano – the eternal law, “Do not fight with darkness.” And hate is darkness, and sex is darkness, and jealousy is darkness, and greed is darkness and anger is darkness. Bring the light in.

How is the light to be brought in? Become silent, thoughtless, conscious, alert, aware, and awake – this is how light is brought in. And the moment you are alert and aware, hate will not be found. Try to hate somebody with awareness. These are experiments to be done, not just words to be understood.

It’s Impossible ‘to Hate’

Try to hate somebody consciously and you will find it impossible. Either consciousness disappears, then you can hate; or if you are conscious, hate disappears. Consciousness and hate can’t exist together. There is no co-existence possible: light and darkness cannot exist together – because darkness is nothing but the absence of light.

Buddha says: Remember, if you depend on the senses you will remain very fragile — because senses cannot give you strength…they cannot give you a constant foundation. They are constantly in flux; everything is changing. Where can you have a shelter? Where can you make a foundation?

One moment this woman looks beautiful, and another moment, another woman looks beautiful. If you just decide by the senses, you will be in constant turmoil – you cannot decide because senses go on changing their opinions. One moment, something seems so incredible, and another moment, it is just ugly. And we depend on these senses.

Depend On Awareness

Buddha says: Don’t depend on senses – depend on awareness. Awareness is something hidden behind the senses. It is not the eye that sees. If you go to the eye specialist, he will say it is the eye that sees, but that is not true. The eye is only a mechanism through which somebody else sees. The eye is only a window; the window cannot see. When you stand at the window, you can look outside. Somebody passing in the street may think, “The window is seeing me.”

The eye is only an aperture. Who is behind the eye?

Meditation will make you awake, strong and humble. Meditation will make you awake because it will give you the first experience of yourself. You are not the body, you are not the mind – you are the pure witnessing consciousness.

Our Mind is the Root of all the Problems

The root problem of all problems is mind itself. The first thing to be understood is what this mind is, of what stuff it is made; whether it is an entity or just a process; whether it is substantial, or just dreamlike. And unless you know the nature of the mind, you will not be able to solve any problems of your life.

The root problem of all problems is mind itself. The first thing to be understood is what this mind is, of what stuff it is made; whether it is an entity or just a process; whether it is substantial, or just dreamlike. And unless you know the nature of the mind, you will not be able to solve any problems of your life.

You may try hard, but if you try to solve single, individual problems, you are bound to be a failure -- that is absolutely certain -- because in fact no individual problem exists: mind is the problem. If you solve this problem or that, it won't help because the root remains untouched.

It is just like cutting branches of a tree, pruning the leaves, and not uprooting it. New leaves will come, new branches will sprout -- even more than before; pruning helps a tree to become thicker. Unless you know how to uproot it, your fight is baseless, it is foolish. You will destroy yourself, not the tree.

In fighting you will waste your energy, time, life, and the tree will go on becoming more and more strong, far thicker and dense. And you will be surprised what is happening: you are doing so much hard work, trying to solve this problem and that, and they go on growing, increasing. Even if one problem is solved, suddenly ten problems take its place.

Don't try to solve individual, single problems -- there are none: mind itself is the problem. But mind is hidden underground; that's why I call it the root, it is not apparent. Whenever you come across a problem the problem is above ground, you can see it -- that's why you are deceived by it.

Always remember, the visible is never the root; the root always remains invisible, the root is always hidden. Never fight with the visible; otherwise you will fight with shadows. You may waste yourself, but there cannot be any transformation in your life, the same problems will crop up again and again and again. You can observe your own life and you will see what I mean. I am not talking about any theory about the mind, just the "facticity" of it. This is the fact: mind has to be solved.

People come to me and they ask: "How to attain a peaceful mind?" I say to them: "There exists nothing like that: a peaceful mind. Never heard of it."

Mind is never peaceful -- no-mind is peace. Mind itself can never be peaceful, silent. The very nature of the mind is to be tense, to be in confusion. Mind can never be clear; it cannot have clarity, because mind is by nature confusion, cloudiness. Clarity is possible without mind, peace is possible without mind, silence is possible without mind -- so never try to attain a silent mind. If you do, from the very beginning you are moving in an impossible dimension.

Is Rebirth Fact or Fiction?

A well-known professor in an Indian university who is conducting research on rebirth came to meet me. At the very start of his conversation, he asserted that he was going to prove the theory of rebirth scientifically. It was apparent that his mind was already made up in favour of rebirth and he was looking for scientific evidence to support it. But it was utterly unscientific to accept something before fully investigating it from all sides. If someone wants to be scientific, he should say that he wants to enquire whether the theory of reincarnation is true or not.

Impotence of Logic

If you want to prove the theory of rebirth, you can find any number of arguments in its favour. Philosophy has been debating this question for 5,000 years and nothing has been solved yet. There are people who believe in rebirth and there are equal numbers who don’t believe in it. And no side has been able to convince the other side of the validity of its standpoint.

It is ironical that you can convince only one who is already convinced; you cannot convince the unconvinced. This is impotence of logic, which it fails to see. You can easily convince a Hindu of the truth of rebirth, because it is part of his belief system. But you will know how impotent logic is when you try to convince a Muslim of the truth of this theory.

Logic is a skill which works well for those who use it to prove something which they believe to be true. Therefore, it is not a right question to ask if rebirth can be proved philosophically.

The right question is, “Is there a way to approach the question of rebirth scientifically?” Science is pure enquiry; it is objective and impartial. While philosophy and logic have their standpoints for or against a belief, a proposition, science has none. A scientific mind means that it is open and impartial; it wants to find the truth, it is open to both the alternatives, both sides of a thing; it is not closed. Science does not depend on belief. It wants to investigate into the truth or otherwise of a hypothesis.

Objective Enquiry

Science is the only discipline prepared to re-examine its own findings and conclusions. Science is prepared for any possibility that an objective enquiry and investigation can lead to. Science has only recently begun to take interest in matters like reincarnation.

It is only 50 years since psychic societies came into being in America and Europe, and they have done some good work in this direction. A handful of intelligent people with a scientific bent, like Oliver Lodge, Broad, and Rhine have explored new frontiers of the human mind. They are all men of scientific persuasion; they don’t have any beliefs and prejudices of their own. They have done some real work on life-after-death and incarnation. Their findings are authentic and they go a long way in support of reincarnation. Now there are scientific techniques to contact bodiless souls, and they have been contacted, and every care has been taken to eliminate the chances of deception and fraud in the use of these techniques.

In the past, there have been many cases of fraudulent séances to communicate with the dead. But if even a single case of authentic necromancy succeeds, it is enough. And many such experiments to contact bodiless spirits have been successful in establishing that souls change their bodies; that they are born again and again.

Contacting Spirits

A number of people, who had devoted their lives to necromancy before leaving their bodies, had promised to their psychic societies that they would communicate with them after death, in a specific manner. And some of them did succeed in their efforts. They communicated some very valuable information regarding the life-after-death phenomenon to their societies, and this information goes a long way in the support of rebirth.

The 10 Things You Should Remind Yourself Of Every Morning

WE ALL HAVE THOSE MORNINGS WHEN GROGGINESS AND YAWNS ARE NEVER-ENDING. WELL PEOPLE, WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE — LIFE REALLY IS NOT SO BAD. I TELL MYSELF TO START EVERY DAY WITH A SMILE, BECAUSE IT’S ANOTHER DAY I’M GRANTED TO LIVE.

It’s important to appreciate the mornings when time slaps you in the face — make that day today. For the motivation to carry on, check out the 10 things of which you should remind yourself each morning:

1. There is no better day than today.

Have you been waiting to tell someone something or do something yourself? Maybe you’ve been holding back from making a move, asking for a pay raise or pushing off that New Years resolution to diet? Stop. Today is a great day to do what you’ve been waiting to do. You just need a kick in the butt to get started — kick it yourself.

2. Tell yourself “Wow, I look good” before leaving the house.

But don’t be conceited about it. If you bum around every day, you’ll soon feel like a real bum. Wear those new heels or that new button-down. If you wear something that makes you feel great and confident, you’re likely to have a better day than if you only wear sweatpants. Confidence is key and people around you will respond to your positive vibes.

3. Don’t check social media until lunchtime.

Social media tends to be a source of many problems for people. Have you ever had a day when you do not check your phone and you’re left feeling so refreshed? Every morning should be like that. Start your day with the newspaper (yes, the real paper one, not the online version), a coffee, some breakfast and friendly small talk — you’ll just be happier, trust me.

4. Keep your mind open.

Don’t stress over the little things. Don’t stress about the spit your roommate left in the sink after brushing her teeth. Don’t stress over the 10 voicemails your mom sent you this morning. Most of all, don’t stress about the number of Oreos you ate last night. Wake up feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and stay collected.

5. Avoid your enemies.

You have no room in your schedule for negative energy today — or any day. So, wherever you are, stray to the other side of the sidewalk when you pass your enemies. If seeing them for a split second could change your mood, simply turn the other cheek.

6. Eat breakfast and love every damn minute of it.

I get mixed responses as to why some of my friends do not eat breakfast: “I had no time.” “I don’t like breakfast food.” “I forgot.” You forgot? Food is awesome — how can you forget? Whether it’s a granola bar, three eggs, bacon, sausage, pancakes or fruit, eat breakfast. You will have more energy and your brain will work better than it would with no food.

7. Smile at everyone with whom you may come in contact.

A smile can go a long way. If you see a stranger, smile at him or her — it may be the only smile the person sees that day. When I smile at people, it makes me feel happy, regardless of whether or not I get a smile in return.

8. Yesterday is in the past and today is a new day.

So yesterday you f*cked up at work or you yelled at your best friend or significant other and had a fight. Whatever the case may be, forget about it. Move on. Don’t ever dwell on your mistakes. You’re only human and sh*t happens. Start fresh today!

9. You are woman (or man), let’s hear you roar.

Be the best YOU that you can be today. Work extra hard, sing extra loudly to your favorite song and laugh as much as you can. Workout longer than usual and eat your favorite fast food for dinner as a reward. Each day can be a great day — it’s all in your hands.

10. Breathe

Whether you want to listen to “Just Breathe” by Anna Nalick or “Breathe” by Michelle Branch, just breathe; in through your nose and out through your mouth. When you first get up in the morning, don’t jump up, don’t grab your cell phone and don’t turn on the light. Sit up and breathe. Lay your hands in your lap and close your eyes. You need to get oxygen flowing to your brain so that you can function. As you breathe, remind yourself that today is a great day to be alive.

The Purpose of Humans’ Life

A group of 50 people were attending a seminar. Suddenly the speaker stopped and started giving each person a balloon. Each one was asked to write his/her name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room.Now these delegates were let in that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written, within 5 minutes. Everyone was frantically searching for their name, pushing, colliding with each other, and there was utter chaos.

At the end of 5 minutes, no one could find their own balloon.Now each one was asked to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name was written on it. Within minutes everyone had their own balloon.The speaker began: This is exactly what is happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is. Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people.

Give them their happiness, you will get your own happiness.And this is the purpose of human life.

Why do humans get angry?

Courtesy: Complete Well-Being

Would we get angry if an empty boat collided with our boat? No. But we would, if the boat had somebody in it. Why?

An Empty Boat

It is ordinary to try to be extraordinary

Chuang Tzu is a rare flowering, because to become nobody is the most difficult, almost impossible, most extraordinary thing in the world. The ordinary mind wants to be extraordinary, that is part of ordinariness; the ordinary mind desires to be somebody in particular, that is part of ordinariness. You may become an Alexander, but you remain ordinary – then who is the extraordinary one? The extra ordinariness starts only when you don’t want extra ordinariness.
Then the journey has started, and then a new seed has sprouted. This is what Chuang Tzu means when he says: A perfect man is like an empty boat. Many things are implied in it. First, an empty boat is not going anywhere because there is nobody to direct it, nobody to manipulate it, nobody to drive it somewhere. An empty boat is just there, it is not going anywhere. Even if it is moving it is not going anywhere.
When the mind is not there, life will remain a movement, but it will not be directed. You will move, you will change, you will be a river-like flow, but not going anywhere, with no goal in view. A perfect man lives without any purpose; a perfect man moves but without any motive. If you ask a perfect man, “What are you doing?” he will say, “I don’t know, but this is what is happening”. Mind can live in the future, but cannot live in the present. In the present you can simply hope and desire. And that’s how you create misery. If you start living this very moment, here and now, misery disappears.

Ignorance breeds anger

Even then sometimes people will be angry – they are even angry with a Buddha. Because there are foolish people who, if their boat collides with an empty boat, they will not look to see whether someone is in it or not. They will start shouting; they will get so messed up within themselves that they will not be able to see whether someone is in it or not. But even then the empty boat can enjoy it because then the anger never hits you; you are not there, so whom can it hit? This symbol of the empty boat is really beautiful. People are angry because you are too much there, because you are too heavy there – so solid they cannot pass. And life is intertwined with everybody. If you are too much, then everywhere there will be collision, anger, depression, aggression, violence – the conflict continues.
Whenever you feel that someone is angry or someone has collided with you, you always think that he is responsible. This is how ignorance concludes, interprets. Ignorance always says, “The other is responsible.” Wisdom always says, “If somebody is responsible, then I am responsible, and the only way not to collide is not to be.” “I am responsible” doesn’t mean, “I am doing something that is why they are angry.” That is not the question. You may not be doing anything, but just your being there is enough for people to get angry. The question is not whether you are doing good or bad. The question is that you are there.

Being is the problem

This is the difference between Tao and other religions. Other religions say: Be good, behave in such a way that no one gets angry with you. Tao says: Don’t be. It is not a question of whether you behave or misbehave. This is not the question. Even a good man, even a very saintly man, creates anger, because he is there. Sometimes a good man creates more anger than a bad man, because a good man means a very subtle egoist. A bad man feels guilty – his boat may be filled, but he feels guilty. He is not really so spread out on the boat, his guilt helps him to shrink. A good man feels himself to be so good that he fills the boat completely, overfills it.