The Truth Behind Cheating

We’ve all been cheated on, and we all know someone being cheated on right now. But we don’t say anything about it. We choose not to tell them. Why? Is it because we fear of getting in the middle? Or is it because we fear that if we tell that person, they won’t believe it anyway, leaving us looking like a jealous a-hole?

Cheating is different for men than it is for women. Women cheat because they are lacking something in their relationship, they don’t feel loved or appreciated so they seek that from another man. It’s all based on emotion and a happy girl will hardly ever stray. But this is not the case with men, happy men stray all the time.

Men cheat because they can. They know that we won’t do anything about it. They aren’t missing anything in their relationship, in fact most of the time they really do love their girlfriends. But it’s just about sex. They don’t care about the girls they have relations with, they just cheat because they can.

Their world doesn’t stop, they don’t feel bad about it, and they certainly don’t feel any differently about you. Their life just goes on as if it never happened. They have some sort of on/off cheating switch when it comes to this. They are able to be so deceptive yet they can go back to being that loving boyfriend after the dirty deed has been done.

But please, don’t get it twisted. Women are not so innocent in this either. It takes two to tango hunny! If these “side chicks” had more respect for themselves, men wouldn’t be able to cheat, it wouldn’t even be a possibility for them. But there’s always going to be those women out there that are willing to be the side-screw and have no hard feelings about it.

The Successful Cheater: You might be in a “happy” relationship right now, meanwhile your partner has OTHER partners. Well congrats, you’re being successfully cheated on. But what are some of the signs?

Hidden Facebook Relationship Status.

Yes you’re probably in most of their photos so you think this is okay, but it is easy to tell someone, “Oh that’s just my ex, I haven’t gotten to delete those old photos yet.”

A whole laundry list of sexual encounters prior to you.

Please don’t try to tell me that your once overly-promiscuous partner has turned over a new leaf and stays faithful to only you. A person that will sleep with practically anything with a pulse doesn’t tend to have many morals. So don’t think that for one millisecond that they can change. Because chances are, they can’t. And they will continue to do so behind your back.

Random names of the same sex in their contacts.

For instance, your cheating boyfriend isn’t going to put his new fling “Rachel” in his contacts. He’s going to put her under the name “Bob from work” and call it a day. Meanwhile he doesn’t even know a Bob and he doesn’t even have a job. I mean come on.

Wherever they go, their phone goes with them.

If they are seeing someone behind your back, they are not going to leave their phone alone with you. So if the next time your girlfriends phone rings and she busts through the plate glass in the shower to get to it before you do, there you go.

If your partner spends way more time with their friends than they do with you, chances are they are probably up to no good.

If they love you and are faithful to you, then they want to be with you as much as possible, period.

Everyone you know always has something negative to say about them.

Chances are, they know something that you don’t. And instead of telling you the truth, they beat around the bush with it because they know you wouldn’t believe it if it came down to it.

The root of the issue at hand is respect. A person that cheats doesn’t respect their partner, that’s the bottom line. And the women and men willing to be the “side piece” have no self-respect. Instead of demanding to be the ONLY one, they settle with being the OTHER one.

Then we have the people who literally do not have the slightest clue what is going on behind their back because they choose to ignore the signs and live by the phrase, “Ignorance is Bliss.” But is ignorance bliss?? Maybe if we all just had some old fashioned respect for ourselves and each other, this wouldn’t be such a prominent issue.

Love Vs Hate

In this world, Hate never yet dispelled hate. Only love dispels hate. This is the law ‘Ancient and inexhaustible’

What is the law? That hate never dispels hate – darkness cannot dispel darkness – that only love dispels hate. Only light can dispel darkness: love is light, the light of your being, and hate is the darkness of your being. If you are dark inside, you go on throwing hate all around you. If you are light within, luminous, and then you go on radiating light around you.

Aes dhammo sanantano… ‘This is the law, ancient and inexhaustible’ – Buddha repeats this again and again that this is the eternal law. What is the eternal law? Only love dispels hate, only light dispels darkness. Why? Because darkness in itself is only a negative state; it has no positive existence of its own.

It does not exist really – how can you dispel it?

You cannot do anything directly to darkness. If you want to do anything to darkness, you will have to do something with light. Bring light in and darkness is gone, take light out and darkness comes in. But you cannot bring darkness in or out directly – you cannot do anything with darkness. Remember, you cannot do anything with hate either.

Morals Vs Mystics

And that’s the difference between moral teachers and religious mystics: moral teachers go on offering the false law. They go on offering, “Fight with darkness – fight with hate, fight with anger, fight with sex, fight with this, fight with that!” Their whole approach is, “Fight the negative,” while the real, true Master teaches you the positive law: aes dhammo sanantano – the eternal law, “Do not fight with darkness.” And hate is darkness, and sex is darkness, and jealousy is darkness, and greed is darkness and anger is darkness. Bring the light in.

How is the light to be brought in? Become silent, thoughtless, conscious, alert, aware, and awake – this is how light is brought in. And the moment you are alert and aware, hate will not be found. Try to hate somebody with awareness. These are experiments to be done, not just words to be understood.

It’s Impossible ‘to Hate’

Try to hate somebody consciously and you will find it impossible. Either consciousness disappears, then you can hate; or if you are conscious, hate disappears. Consciousness and hate can’t exist together. There is no co-existence possible: light and darkness cannot exist together – because darkness is nothing but the absence of light.

Buddha says: Remember, if you depend on the senses you will remain very fragile — because senses cannot give you strength…they cannot give you a constant foundation. They are constantly in flux; everything is changing. Where can you have a shelter? Where can you make a foundation?

One moment this woman looks beautiful, and another moment, another woman looks beautiful. If you just decide by the senses, you will be in constant turmoil – you cannot decide because senses go on changing their opinions. One moment, something seems so incredible, and another moment, it is just ugly. And we depend on these senses.

Depend On Awareness

Buddha says: Don’t depend on senses – depend on awareness. Awareness is something hidden behind the senses. It is not the eye that sees. If you go to the eye specialist, he will say it is the eye that sees, but that is not true. The eye is only a mechanism through which somebody else sees. The eye is only a window; the window cannot see. When you stand at the window, you can look outside. Somebody passing in the street may think, “The window is seeing me.”

The eye is only an aperture. Who is behind the eye?

Meditation will make you awake, strong and humble. Meditation will make you awake because it will give you the first experience of yourself. You are not the body, you are not the mind – you are the pure witnessing consciousness.